Belly to Belly, Lips to Lips, Nose to Nose

Just ’cause I’m a Farm boy from California
Just ’cause I was raised Middle Class
Just ’cause I didn’t finish college
Just ’cause I’m not a fan of smokin’ grass

I’m a no manscaped city lovin’ kid
I’m no Regular Joe or well-to-do
But if you gave me a chance
For a little sweet ‘n fun romance
I know I could prove to you

I’m a Farm boy you’ll wanna get to know
I read lotsa books ‘n love picture shows
I love going out for dinner & dessert
n hittin’ up County Fairs n Rodeos
This Farm boy don’t wear fancy clothes
And boy do I like to slow dance real close
Belly to belly, lips to lips, and nose to nose

Just ’cause I wear a dirty trucker hat
And my cowboy boots aren’t clean
Just ’cause I wear a Harley leather jacket
Just ’cause I wear these ragged ol’ jeans

I’m one who cleans up when need be
I’m a very good kisser ‘n love to hug
And if you give me a whirl
I’d be really great for you girl
Like that Carmel Macchiato in your mug

I’m a Farm boy who’s rarin’ to go
For long rides with you in my Tahoe
I love trips to places like Vegas and Reno
But I still love going to good ol’ Chicago
I don’t wear designer denim clothes
But boy do I like to cuddle up real close
Belly to belly, lips to lips, nose to nose
Belly to belly, lips to lips, nose to nose
Belly to belly, lips to lips, nose to nose

Girl, let’s get
belly to belly,
lips to lips,
nose to nose

October 2. 2019

If You’re Looking For My Heart

I don’t know if you even care
though you’re sittin’ with me here
With me at this bowling alley bar
and you just ordered me a cold beer

I’m not used to forward women
But before we even start
It’s been thrown in the trash
If you’re looking for my heart

It’s been thrown in the trash
If you’re looking for my heart
And it’s likely gone to the dump
Smelling like a really bad fart
Some critter’s probably got to it
He’s crapped it out by today
So if you’re looking for my heart
You best give up and walk away

I’m not much of a man without it
I’m as empty as a man can be
All I do is eat, drink, piss ‘n shit
No woman would wanna be with me

My ex-wife took all my money
And I’m never gonna get it back
So if you’re looking for my heart
It’s crapped out from a critter’s crack

Cause
It’s been thrown in the trash
If you’re looking for my heart
And it’s likely gone to the dump
Smelling like a really bad fart
Some critter’s probably got to it
He’s crapped it out by today
So if you’re looking for my heart
You best give up and walk away

If you’re looking for my heart
Take my advice, just walk away

September 26, 2019

Brother From Another Mother

He’s the guy you’ve known since Grade School
And now you’re at a dive bar having drinks
You’re sharing stories nobody else knows
And you both know how the other one thinks

You struggled through the awkward years
Traded sports cards & Playboy magazines
You’d sit in the treehouse and play cards
And you’d tell him all your unrealistic dreams

Well he’s your Brother from Another Mother
Your confidant and best friend in the world
You’ll battle over which baseball team is better
And you might have crushes on the same girls
He’s the friend you like more than your siblings
and the one who’s the yin to your yang
He’s your Brother from Another Mother
Who’s a good person and a hilarious hang

He’s the boy who you’ve been in a truck with
The one who has your best interests at heart
He’s your wingman, your partner in crime
Who you don’t pine for when you’re apart

You tell him things you won’t tell your lover
Secrets you hide from your Mom and Dad
Stuff kept from your sister and older brother
He’s the only reliable ally you’ve ever had

And he’s your Brother from Another Mother
He’s not attracted to you and you know why
He’s shared something you can’t tell anyone
He’s fallen for that attractive athletic guy
Who’ll never return his affection back to him
You once kissed and you deemed it a mistake
You’ll remain his Sister from another Mister
On his birthday, you’ll always bake him a cake

He was my dear Brother from Another Mother
He was with me through the good and the bad
I remember videogames we’d play for hours
And all the crazy days and nights he and I had

His parents let me stay over at their house
Fed me great food, man, I had a lot of fun
His Father wore a Greek Fisherman’s cap
And I hoped one day I would too wear one

He was my Brother from Another Mother
My dear confidant and best friend in the world
We didn’t fight over which team was better
But we had crushes on the same cute girls
He was the friend I liked more than my siblings
and he’s was the crazy yin to my weird yang
He was my Brother from Another Mother
Who was a good man and hilarious hang

He was my Brother
from another Mother
from another Mother
He was my Brother

My Brother.

September 22, 2019

Red Flags

Well, I’m a different writer
But it’s the same ol’ trope
Talkin’ ’bout a couple of kids
Who decided to elope
They were forbidden lovers
Their parents didn’t approve
So they packed their things
And they were on the move
First stop was Vegas
They found a chapel there
Got hitched by a preacher
Who had Elvis Presley hair
Then they both got jobs
To eat & pay other bills
But they soon were addicted
To gambling for thrills
One night at Caesar’s Palace
They were on a winning streak
At one of the Craps tables
They he had to take a leak
She at the table on her own
And she bet it all on black
But the ball landed on red
The chips were put in the rack

That was the straw
The straw that broke
The camel’s back
Yeah that was the straw
The straw that broke
The camel’s back
And he decided he’d had enough
The times were getting too tough
Told her he’d rather
have a stroke or heart attack
Oh, those were the red flags
that broke the camel’s back

So he went on his own way
Left her there without anything
And she sat outside on a bench
She thought of pawning her ring
Then someone from Valet
Asked if everything was all right
She said she had nowhere to go
She needed a room for the night
And the Valet decided to help her
Got her a room for a few days
So she’d be off the streets &
Not hitching rides on highways
Not selling herself for money
Or blowing it all on meth & drinks
Not chasing users and abusers
Not washing in Truck Stop sinks

Cause that was the straw
The straw that broke
The camel’s back
Yeah that was the straw
The straw that broke
The camel’s back
She was sick of losing the game
And being told she was to blame
Her boyfriend keeping a gun
In his Army green gunnysack
Oh, those were the red flags
that broke the camel’s back

Oh, those were the red flags
that broke the camel’s back

June 21, 2019

Luck

She knew my story likely a little too well
It was the kind of tale I couldn’t quite sell
I was a bunch of basic for someone like her
She was the same age, but more mature

She had admirers who were older than me
Who I’d get to know and like reluctantly
I was jealous of those guys who she dated
She’d treat me like she and I were related

Sometimes we’d hug and I’d look in her eyes
Like at the County Fair when I won her a prize
And I thought eventually I’d have a chance
Like the night of the Sadie Hawkins Dance
We had a great time, everything was right
And we sat on the bed of my pickup truck
But we never kissed and I was outta luck

She had light Auburn wavy hair & freckled face
We’d spend time together just about everyplace
I’d pick her up in my Chevy I bought from my Dad
And I’d spend every last nickel, everything I had

The more I did with her, more boys came around
Guess they wanted some of the happiness I found

Cause
Sometimes we’d hug and I’d look in her eyes
Like at the County Fair when I won her a prize
One night she asked me what was wrong
I told her she and I felt like a great song
I said, I felt like everything was going right
As we sat on the bed of my pickup truck
But we didn’t kiss then and I was outta luck

Years later I ran into her at the local corner bar
She was promoting alcohol & looked like a star
And I asked if she could go out after her shift
Turns out she wanted to give me a special gift

That night we hugged and I looked in her eyes
She was beaming like when I won her that prize
She said she was sorry for how she treated me
She just felt like we were better as like family
But then she switched and kissed my lips
As we sat on the bed of my Silverado truck
Suddenly I had that girl and a lifetime of luck

Oh, suddenly,
I had that girl
and a lifetime of luck.

April 5, 2019

Brand New Ball Game

Now that we’ve said our vows
Now that we are married
Now that we’ve committed
To one love until we’re buried

It’s a brand new ball game
Things are different than before
It’s a brand new ballgame
Without innings or keeping score
Without bases, without pitches
With dreams of going
from rags to riches
No, things will never be the same
Cause it’s a brand new ball game
Yeah, it’s a brand new ball game

We’re safe to have disagreements
without the fear of being ejected
There’s a relief I’m feeling now
One I never would have expected

I would have never thought I’d have
the kind of endless joy I used to see
In those couples who chose love
instead of staying single and free

It’s a brand new ball game
Things are different than before
It’s a brand new ball game
Without home runs or keeping score
Without foul balls or bad calls
I still might say,
“You’re killing me, Smalls.”
The Bangles called it an eternal flame
and if we fail, then we’re to blame
In this brand new ball game
This brand new ball game
This brand new ball game

April 1, 2019

If We Had To Say Goodbye

When we’re at the movies
And I look over to you in the soft light
So many memories fill my mind
As you hold my hand so tight

Me being me, I get fearful
Like an awkward boy in junior high
I think about what would happen
If we had to say goodbye

It would be so awful
They’d have to drag me out of bed
Things I like would bore me
I’d be longing for you instead

I know I’d be more than a mess
Even when wearing black tie
Something just wouldn’t feel right
And I’d just call it a night

So when you seeing me look at you
And there’s a sad look in my eye
Know that I’m quietly praying inside
That we’ll never have to say goodbye

Know that I’m quietly praying inside
That we’ll never have to say goodbye

May 16, 2014

Me and my Rotgut Whiskey

She’s really gone
She packed all her things
She took the ring I scrimped and saved for
On this freezing day in early Spring
I’m left with this bitter sting
Now It’s just me and my Rotgut Whiskey

She’s really out
She left her phone and a note
She’s had enough of what we didn’t have
And rather than cut her own throat
She bought herself a sailboat
Now it’s just me and my Rotgut Whiskey

I should have known it was comin’
I should have seen all the signs
She was out with friends at night
And always dressed to the nines
Our apartment has been neglected
Just like my devastated heart
I’m alone and feelin’ rejected
At least she left the Mason jars

We’re really through
I’m stuck here without any plan
She was my fiance’, my whole world
Has suddenly come to an end
There goes my best friend
Guess from now on it’s just me
Oh it’s me and my Rotgut Whiskey

My Rotgut Whiskey
My Rotgut Whiskey
Now it’ll forever be
Me and my Rotgut Whiskey

St. Patrick’s Day, 2019.

There’s No Shame In Being A Country Boy

You can be ashamed of being a rich kid
’cause your parents give you what you want
You can be ashamed of being middle class
and of Uncle Jeb who’s a chef at a restaurant
You can be ashamed of your hand-me-downs
and your little baby brother named Roy
You can be ashamed of all your relatives
but there’s no shame in being a country boy

You can be ashamed of your troubled Ma
who treats waiters like they did her wrong
You can be ashamed that David Allen Coe
wrote your favorite Outlaw Towering Song
You can be ashamed of Granddaddy’s cabin
You can be ashamed of all your cheap toys
You can be ashamed of your unworn boots
but there’s no shame in being a country boy

‘Cause you wake up in the morning
and you feed the animals we own
And you’ll take pride in raising them
‘Cause it’s due to you they’ve grown
You were taught to do these chores for us
to build your heart with compassion & gold
There’s no shame in being a country boy, son
Life’s not what’s your image or in your billfold

You can be ashamed you don’t say things right
You can be ashamed of that beater you drive
You can be ashamed of our three-legged dog
and old gray mare out there who’s still alive
You can be ashamed of this old farmhouse
Here in the smack dab center of Illinois
But son, I know one day you’ll remember us
and say you liked growing up as a country boy

‘Cause country boys end up with country girls
and know how to raise a hardworking family
We make damn sure you’re never hungry
This old farm is worth more than a degree
You want to go off to a hoity-toity college
But son, don’t forget everything I’ve said
There’s no shame in being a country boy
Don’t let the big time get to your head

Son, there’s no shame in being a country boy
Don’t let the big time get to your head

February 10, 2019