Set Me Up With You

You’ve tried to set me up with your friends
That didn’t go over with them so well
You kept thinkin’ one of them would like me
And none of them had fun with me or fell

So tonight, I’ve got a good hunch in my heart
Maybe you haven’t thought this through
Have you ever considered sweetheart,
they think you should set me up with you?

You should set me up with you
If you think I’m such a catch
We surely do get along
And I’m thinkin’ we’re a match
Before you go askin’ girlfriends
To go out with me cause I’m neat
Why don’t you set me up with you
And hey, I’ll even treat

We can take a drive over to the Pronto Pup
I’ll get you a burger, fries & shake
I could take you to the Starlite Drive In
Or we could go out swimming in Kelly Lake

There’s many places I’d like to take you to
There’s so much for us to do and see
If only you could realize I turned them down
So baby, you could set you up with me…

You should set me up with you
If you think I’m such a catch
We surely do get along
And I’m thinkin’ we’re a match
Before you go askin’ girlfriends
To go out with me cause I’m cool
Why don’t you set me up with you
Cause for you, I’m a lovesick fool

Why don’t you set me up with you, baby
For you, I’m such a lovesick fool
For you, I’m such a lovesick fool
For you, I’m such a lovesick fool

July 9, 2018

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The Emigrant Gap Bandit

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

I was born up in the Sierra mountains
In a cabin near a town called Emigrant Gap
At first I loved livin’ there in them woods
But then later I saw it was more of a trap

I did whatever I could to get a ticket there
At eighteen I jumped on a train leavin’town
I found work with a traveling carnival
From early Spring to Fall we’d move around

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

A girl I fell for was the only daughter
Of the Ringmaster who had hired me
That day I laid my eyes on that sweel gal
She was the cutest I ever had seen

Her eyes were wide as her lips hit mine
She thought it was love at first sight
But I got scared and left her behind
Even though I knew it wasn’t right

Then I ended up in some rustic ol’ saloon
Got stuck where everyone drank and drank
The longer I stayed, the more lonely I was
And into depression, I fell & then sank

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this old jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

I fell into a gang of highly skilled bandits
One day we came across a familiar tent
I realized where we were & looked for her
I always hoped I’d know where she went

Then I found her being raped by a man
I grabbed him off her then saw his eyes
He said “Boy what are you doin’ here?”
I got out my pistol which wasn’t so wise

Then I shot that Ringmaster in cold blood
The gang left me there to face my fate
And by the look in her eyes I quickly saw
My heroic deed came a few weeks late

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
You would see I sure deserve to die
Even though my intentions were true
If you could step right into my shoes
You would then know what next I’ll do

You would then know what next I’ll do.

June 25, 2018

His Poor Hand

He was at a high stakes card game
Right above Drifters in Bloomington
From the looks of him you could say
He wasn’t having a lot of fun

He was losing his money faster than you
could call him an unlucky sumbitch
But this is how things changed so fast
How he won it all then strutted out rich

It was all in how he played his poor hand
It was all in how he played his poor hand
He confused them with his tell
Some would say he played it well
It was all ’cause he knew how to win
with his poor hand

He only had a few chips on the table
Looked at the others, n glanced at her
Then he flipped up his top card slowly
Asked more credit from the banker

He threw his whole savings into the pot
And his face had a smirk then a smile
All the players misread him and folded
They thought it wasn’t worth their while

Little did they know
He’d win it all by workin’ with his poor hand
He’d win it all by workin’ with his poor hand
He confused them with his tell
Some would say he played it well
When he won that high stakes game
with his poor hand

So now, when I play Blackjack in Reno
I don’t have to count cards or cheat
I just play the way my Daddy taught me
Above Drifters, he didn’t miss a beat

And it works better when I’m not drinkin’
When I’ve had a good steak dinner meal
It helps me lie well, cause they’re thinkin’
My confidence in my play is very real

Most of the time I win with a poor hand
Most of the time I win with a poor hand
I confuse them all with my tell
Those bad cards I play so well
Like Daddy once won that big stakes game
with his poor hand

Like back then
when Daddy won that high stakes game
Where he gained some local Fame
He also won the heart of that dame
with his poor hand

With his poor hand.

June 20, 2018

Ballad of Sugar Booger & Ellie Mae

She called him Sugar Booger
‘n he didn’t mind one bit
He wasn’t rich or very poor
He was heavier ‘n not so fit

They got along like best friends
Grew closer with each passing day
Yeah, she called him Sugar Booger
and her name was Ellie Mae

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks, ‘n
sweeter than German Chocolate Cake
She loved housework and lemonade
Stayed busy while she was awake
Sugar Booger drove a Chevy truck
he bought with cash in 1988
before he met dear sweet Ellie Mae
Before they combined their fate

Sugar Booger collected hats & lighters
and Ellie Mae loved to cook
If Ellie Mae wasn’t in the kitchen
She was likely reading a book

She loved romantic Southern Novels
and he watched Bonanza on TV
Whenever they were together
they were where they loved to be

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks n’
sweeter than Loganberry Pie
A typical country girl she was –
She told the truth & never lied
She was faithful to Sugar Booger
even when he was tempted to stray
There’s never been a love like theirs
Sugar Booger and Ellie Mae

They both came into some money
but they didn’t move far away
They liked their eleven-acre property
It was there they wanted to stay

But someone heard of their windfall
And one hot night in mid-July
Sugar Booger ‘n Ellie Mae were murdered
and they never caught that guy

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks ‘n
Sweeter than Loganberry Pie
A typical country girl she was
She told the truth and never lied
She was faithful to her Sugar Booger
Until they died side by side
When the news spread all over town
They all were scared and horrified

For their sweet Ellie Mae
and her dearest beloved, Sugar Booger
They cried and cried and cried….

June 18, 2018

Lyrics Notes: I just loved this popular nickname Southerners give their husbands and I knew I had to write something that included it. A small tale about a sweet country couple who didn’t deserve their grisly fate.

California Vacayday

We’ve looked forward to this
Just our children, you and me
Spending quality time together
In scenic Capitola-by-the-Sea

It’s a perfect California Vacayday
We went bodysurfin’ in the bay
It’s a perfect California Vacayday
It’s so great to be away
from the hustle and bustle
and our big city street
And eating gourmet tacos
filled with lobster meat
No worries, just leisurely play
On this perfect California Vacayday

Wind making our sand-dusted hair dance
and I’m gently holding your tanned hand
We’re rekindling and nurturing our romance
as we’re strolling together on the sand

Our kids are having so much fun
It’s been a complete and total blast
reflecting & joking with you, my dear
We’re in the moment, not stuck in the past

It’s a perfect California Vacayday
We went bodysurfin’ in the bay
It’s a perfect California Vacayday
It’s so great to be away
from the hustle and bustle
and our big city street
And eating gourmet tacos
filled with lobster meat
No worries, just leisurely play
On this perfect California Vacayday

With you, my life-long love
and our funny, darling children
on this perfect California Vacayday

On this perfect California Vacayday.

May 15, 2018

Pinto Lake

Well, I’m thinkin’ about Half Moon Bay
and those egg sandwiches you would make,
All those black and white analog snapshots
you wanted to but didn’t have time to take

And I’m thinkin’ about that early Spring day
It was a bit foggy, you had something to say
When we were in that rowboat on Pinto Lake
When we were in that rowboat on Pinto Lake

I was wearing khaki shorts & a white pocket tee
You wore a gingham top and favorite ripped jeans
You brought a picnic basket with Martinelli’s,
Potato salad, French bread & freshly baked beans

And I wonder about all the reasons why my dear
You chose to tell me you weren’t gonna stay
When we were in that rowboat out on Pinto Lake
Oh, in that little rowboat out on Pinto Lake

We were from that place
That sleepy farm town
Filled with roses
Old friends
Ramsey Park
Where our Mothers
took us both to play
We were twenty-four
and we had planned
to move out of state
But you said you’ve packed
and was moving that very May

I’m sad and thinkin’ about that early Spring day
You brought me a bright yellow roses bouquet
My heart was breaking apart every which way
As you said what you needed to say
In that little rowboat with me out on Pinto Lake

In that little rowboat with me out on Pinto Lake.

May 15, 2018

Weird Hyper Kid

There he is on the school playground
He’s a messy, artsy, weird hyper kid
Draws cartoons of witches and monsters
Doesn’t care about stuff he did

Like the time he told the teacher off
And got suspended for three days
He was put in the front of the classroom
And he just sits there with an empty gaze

Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)

He already has the knowledge
He’s got the brain power to succeed
To fill him with useless information
Is giving him what he doesn’t need

He’s smarter than all the other students
But they just see what they wanna see
To them, he’s just some weird hyper kid
But he should be a hero to you & me

Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)

Loves comic books and very crazy music
He stays up late to research on the internet
He’s concerned about the environment
He’ll come up with a cure for cancer I’ll bet

Likes Stephen King & Agatha Christie
Watches all those reruns of Quantum Leap
Goes to ComicCon with his doting parents
Collects autographs he’ll cherish & keep

Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)

April 9, 2018