Dead Inside

Dead inside
That’s how I turned out
Dead inside
I don’t know what I’m about
I have no idea how I got this way
But here you are asking me today

If I remember a time when I felt well
But I promised I would never ever tell

I cannot unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
I hear them rumble and they tumble
No one ever helped me find the key
It sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
The younger me is chained to it, and
couldn’t figure out how to break free

Dead inside
He’s just a kid and nobody knew
Dead inside
No one can rescue him, not even you
I have no idea if anything you say
Will break the chains, rusted & gray

I know I blocked a time when I felt well
I gave my word I would never ever tell

I cannot unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
I hear them rumble and they tumble
No one ever helped me find the key
It sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
The younger me is chained to it, and
Died trying desperately to break free

He’s dead inside
He’s a part of who I’ve become
Dead inside
It’s OK to me if I’m forever numb
I have idea why I need to sit & talk
I’d rather wander alone on the Boardwalk

It’s where I discovered I wasn’t well
And then remembered I shouldn’t tell

I wanna unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
And they rumble and they tumble
I’ve been looking for the silver key
That sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
Meanwhile the older me is out here
And what’s dead inside
What’s dead inside
Is the dream of what she and I
Will never in our lifetime be

January 15, 2019