Adult Themes, Cabaret, Growing Up, Inspired by a Place, Introspective, Jazz, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Relationships, Unrequited, Wistful, Young Love

Dead Inside

Dead inside
That’s how I turned out
Dead inside
I don’t know what I’m about
I have no idea how I got this way
But here you are asking me today

If I remember a time when I felt well
But I promised I would never ever tell

I cannot unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
I hear them rumble and they tumble
No one ever helped me find the key
It sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
The younger me is chained to it, and
couldn’t figure out how to break free

Dead inside
He’s just a kid and nobody knew
Dead inside
No one can rescue him, not even you
I have no idea if anything you say
Will break the chains, rusted & gray

I know I blocked a time when I felt well
I gave my word I would never ever tell

I cannot unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
I hear them rumble and they tumble
No one ever helped me find the key
It sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
The younger me is chained to it, and
Died trying desperately to break free

He’s dead inside
He’s a part of who I’ve become
Dead inside
It’s OK to me if I’m forever numb
I have idea why I need to sit & talk
I’d rather wander alone on the Boardwalk

It’s where I discovered I wasn’t well
And then remembered I shouldn’t tell

I wanna unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
And they rumble and they tumble
I’ve been looking for the silver key
That sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
Meanwhile the older me is out here
And what’s dead inside
What’s dead inside
Is the dream of what she and I
Will never in our lifetime be

January 15, 2019

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About Family, Adult Themes, Autobiographical, Folk Ballad, Growing Up, Inspired by College, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Rites of Passage, Wistful

Beach in Seabright

I look at our kids
I look at my wife
I think to myself
What a wonderful life

We have a house
A couple of cars
I feel so grateful
as I stare at the stars

And I know time is moving
faster than I’d like
I know it’s been a while since
I’ve been on my bike
I also know all of this
is what I’d dream about
As I’d head out with my friends
night after night
Searching for the one
with sweetness and light
At bars nearby
the beach in Seabright

I didn’t see her comin’
but I fell hard & fast
I was confident & cool
Prayin’ we would last

And I sure as hell got lucky
We’ve now been together for so long
When I think we’re gonna break up
I discover I’m so, so wrong

And I know time is moving
faster than desired
II know it’ll be a while
before we’re retired
I also know all of this
is what I hoped for as a teen
As I’d go out with my friends
on Saturday nights
Looking for more
than sweetness and light
At those bonfires on
the beach in Seabright

I look at our kids
and who I’ve become
I didn’t end up where
Mom & Dad were from

This journey I’m on
with my loving family
is the best damn thing
That’s happened to me

And I know time is moving
faster than I’d like
It’s been a while since
I’ve ridden that bike
I also know all of this is
all I’d ever need or want
Someday I’ll take them all to
that yacht harbor restaurant
Where I’d admire everyone
with sweetness and light
who grew up like me at
that beach in Seabright

Who grew up like me at
that beach in Seabright

December 27, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Country Song, Growing Up, Inspired by College, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Optimism, Relationships, Rites of Passage, Wistful, Young Love

I’m No Longer Nostalgic For You

I used to look back with fond memories
of when you and I dated back then
I’d sit and look through your letters
and photos of us over and over again

But one day somethin’ snapped in me
Thinkin’ of you no longer made me feel blue
So darlin’ as you listen to this song
Know I’m no longer nostalgic for you

I’m no longer thinkin’ of your kisses
Or your pretty little porcelain face
Or the way you would hold on to me
in the stands as we’d watch a NASCAR race
I’m no longer wonderin’ where you are
Now you’ve found another good man
I’m no longer nostalgic for you, babe
I’m just lovin’ her the best I can

You used to tell me time and again, girl
That I’d remember us and what we did;
All those passionate nights at the lake house
That time you got pregnant with our kid

You miscarried – We quickly found ourselves
relieved and we decided we were through
Then we both started seeing other people
We both knew we had to find someone new

Now I’m no longer thinkin’ of your kisses
Or your sweet chocolate doe shaped eyes
Or the way you would look at me
as I’d stare up at the star filled sky
You said I was too much of a dreamer
and I’d never make it big with my band
Well, I’m no longer nostalgic for you babe
cause my daughter is my number one fan

And you can go on peacefully knowing
I’ve gotten over you and moved on
So don’t be nostalgic for me babe
What we had is now dead and gone

No honey, don’t be nostalgic for me
What we had is now dead and gone

November 16, 2018

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Adult Themes, Autobiographical, Creativity Themes, Folk Ballad, Growing Up, Inspired by High School, Inspired by People, Introspective, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Relationships, Romance, Unrequited, Wistful

Crushing Crush

There’s a girl I’ve known since I was seventeen
Has an aquatic blue eye and another that’s green
She’s not the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen
but she’s the one I was crushing on back then

I was dating others who were nothing like her
Whether they liked me or not, I wasn’t that sure
What I do know is I was lonely, awkward & immature
and she was the one I was crushing on back then

She was told I was obsessing from a friend of a friend
We hung out for lunch when her heart was on the mend
and I shared with her a poem I had recently penned
before she became the one I was crushing on back then

Last I heard she moved to Jersey with a guy who she met
while they were still in college, now he’s a Navy Vet
And I wish I could erase that memory I just can’t forget
of the moment I found out she only dated older men
How I was crushed by the one I was crushing on back then
How I was crushed by the one I was crushing on back then

October 23, 2018

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About Family, Country Song, Growing Up, Inspired by High School, Inspired by People, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Optimism, Relationships, Rites of Passage, Romance, Women, Young Love

She’s Datin’ a Bad Boy

Her grades began to slip
from A’s & B’s to C’s & D’s
Her current choice of schoolboy
won’t give her fond memories
He’s been makin’ her feel guilty
He don’t respect her one bit
He’s a cocky lil’ sumbitch
Born to end up a misfit

She’s datin’ a bad boy
Oh, he’s not gonna be Mister Right
Ah, but she don’t know any different
so she loves him with all her might
She’s datin’ a greaseball
And he knows she’s outta his league
Cause he can’t help bein’ a bad boy
and she can’t help bein’ intrigued

Up nightly on her phone
maybe one day she’ll learn
Instead of taking care of her
He’ll go and never return
Maybe they’ll end up with a baby
and another one on the way
Then he’ll pick a fight & take off
but she’ll be wishin’ he’d stay

She’s datin’ a bad boy
Oh, he’s never gonna be “The One”
You can see it right in his icy eyes
He’ll eventually cut and run
She’s datin’ a scumbag
And he knows he don’t deserve her
Cause he can’t help bein’ a runner
They could be like her Mom & I were…

Bridge:
Maybe she thinks he’s a fixer-upper
Maybe he’ll change his reckless ways
Maybe she knows he’s just actin’ out
and he’s just goin’ through a phase
They could get thru all the hardships
Maybe they’ll learn from their mistakes
Guess I should just be there for her
Just in case her young heart breaks

She’s growin’ up and can date him
It’s not worth a damaging fight
Who am I to meddle with the little man
He’s someone like me who holds her tight
Maybe under all that stuff he wears
right down to the familiar Converse shoes
He’s no crazy tattooed biker dude
and I’m pickin’ up on all the wrong clues

She’s told me to stay out of it
so that’s what I’m gonna do
This bad boy turned Dad of hers knows
he’s got a lot to live up to

This bad boy turned Dad of hers knows
the inner pain that kid is goin’ through

She’s datin’ a bad boy…

October 6, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Country Song, Growing Up, Inspired by High School, Love, Lyrics, Naughty, No Music Yet, Relationships, Rites of Passage

Parents’ Home Date

The popcorn’s made, it’s in a white plastic bowl
It’s a home date, he’s gotta keep it under control
He’s gotta show her he cares, but stay kinda cool
but she’s already changed into a suit for the pool
He picked out a movie, she wants to go swimmin’
She’s flirty like a lot of older attractive women
He wonders if he’s too square ‘n he’s not her style
But somethin’ sparks inside him when she smiles

Her parents are out of town, it’s the perfect chance
for her to see if this guy is up for a horizontal dance
He knows a gentleman would likely take a stance
that he should focus on love, not a fast romance

He says he cares for her, he wants to take it slow
She says she’s in love with him ‘n lets him know
She’s not gonna bite him, or hurt his eager heart
Yet it’s not like they promised ’til death do they part
and he says OK, he changed into his tight swimsuit
In the meantime, she references a bamboo flute
He’s nervous as hell, ’cause her game is on fleek
Her arms are around his neck ‘n she kisses his cheek

Her lips are crimson ‘n soft now as they’re kissing hard
They’re getting hot ‘n heavy, maybe going too far
She’s really excited, purrin’ like a sports car
Lickin’ his chest ‘n neck, like he’s her ice cream bar

It kinda scares him a little, she’s so forward ‘n fun
She’s really experienced, yet he’s the chosen one
She could be with anyone, she’s the foxy kind
‘n he’s telling himself inside she’s out of her mind
Then they hear a familiar car pull up in the drive
It’s the scariest moment he’s had in his teenage life
But he isn’t stopping ‘n neither will she
It’s over before they know it ‘n they’re home free

They opened the front door, he went out the back gate
They say she should come inside, it’s getting so late
He texts her a message, he’ll pick her up around eight
‘n she’s thinking she’s found her long-lasting soulmate

She’s thinking she’s found
her long-lasting soulmate
on their passionate,
not so innocent,
sexy, fun-filled,
secret parents’ home date

September 18, 2018

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Adult Themes, Autobiographical, Growing Up, Inspired by People, Introspective, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Optimism, Relationships

Not a Big Deal

V1

We went over to the park that afternoon

And sat there on a bench by the pond

She came up with quite a few reasons

Why by month’s end, she wanted me gone

I looked down at my summer sandals

I knew truth from her heart was revealed

And I tried to hide what I felt inside

Then said, that’s ok, it’s not a big deal

Chorus 1

It’s not a big deal

I’ll be all right

I’ll find someone else

To hold me tight

To listen to me

And care about how I feel

Don’t you worry, babe

It’s not a big deal

V2

During my drive to Santa Cruz

‘n listening to a David Wilcox tape

I wasn’t cryin’ but I wasn’t happy

I felt she preplanned my escape

On Highway 17 during rush hour

A nail popped my front right wheel

I told myself I’d get through it

Said I’d be fine, not a big deal

Chorus 2

It’s not a big deal

I’ll call up a tow truck

They’ll be up here soon

I’m not eternally stuck

I’ve got a spare in the back,

Leftovers of last night’s meal

When a woman stopped, I said

It’s not a big deal

Bridge

But she said my head was bleeding

And could get me quickly to emergency

And I looked into her smoky mocha eyes

Sure enough, it was all meant to be

V3

The girl who pulled over ‘n rescued me

She’s now my wife and we have a girl

And I wouldn’t trade my experience

For all the silver and gold in the world

Sometimes she’ll say she’s runnin’ late,

Her workload lately has been so unreal

I smile as I tell her over the phone,

We’ll get our supper, it’s not a big deal

Last Chorus

It’s not a big deal

We’ll be all right

I’ll take her to get

Burgers and fries

‘n Hawaiian punch

I’m not gonna appeal

Don’t you worry, babe

It’s not a big deal

No, don’t you worry babe

It’s not a big deal

Not a big deal

September 5, 2018

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