What Have You Done With Her?

V1
Believe it or not, I’m not angry at you
for whatever it is you two have done
She doesn’t know I’m meeting you here
She thinks I’ve come to the city for fun
I’m sure you’re wonderin’ how I know
The way I found out about your affair
There was a day a couple months ago
when I couldn’t find her anywhere

V2
I checked our credit card documents
There was a charge I didn’t recognize
It was at a place I’ve never been
and I pieced together all her lies
after confirming with a friend of hers
She was with you when she paid that bill
Then a friend said they saw you with her
at the City Club on Bunker Hill

Chorus
What have you done with her?
That’s all I really want to know
Did you take her on a romantic trip
up to Napa or down to Mexico?
I don’t recognize her anymore
She’s different from how she used to be
Please tell me what have you done with her
so she’s acting happier with me

V3
She’s consistently getting things handled
She doesn’t put them off for another day
and she writes me post-it love notes
She now tells me what she needs to say
She’s a better spouse and parent to our kids
She even was promoted to a better job at work
Whatever it is you’ve done with her
makes me consider you a friend, not a jerk

Bridge
I just need for you to explain
Then we can go our separate ways
Do you think she’s changed forever
or is she just going through a phase?
Is this uncomfortable for you that I’m askin’
about what you did that changed her so much?
‘Cause whatever you have, I will need now
It seems as if I’ve lost my touch

Chorus
So, what have you done with her?
That’s all I really want to know
Did you take her on a romantic trip
up to Napa or down to Mexico?
I don’t recognize her anymore
She’s different from how she used to be
Please tell me what have you done with her
so she’s acting happier with me

Please tell me what have you done with her
so she’s acting happier with me

March 22, 2018

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Preppy Coastal Town

Whenever she looks over to him, her lips part
And he’s thinkin’ bout his favorite go-kart
Instead of payin’ attention to her come-hither look
He’s hidin’ behind a NASCAR History book

She wants him to talk to her ‘bout his muscle car
And dreams together, they’ll go wide ‘n far
But he’s pining for the redhead in our class
He likes her crimson lipstick and her sass

It’s a typical love triangle in this preppy coastal town
where a girl’s expected to go to an Ivy League college
then graduate, meet a boy there and settle down
Where the young men follow in their father’s footsteps
They’ll buckle up, get good grades, pick a sport
Party, sow their oats, ‘n not be a Beta clown
Then find a proper girl from the big city
Who’ll say I do in a satin and lace wedding gown

But the boy’s not into all that, he’s a rebel with a plan
He’ll get a GED and get out outta here while he can
She doesn’t know he’s going into the Army infantry
I only know all this cause his best friend is me

I’ve liked the same girl I’ve known for quite a while
I like that she plays sports and has a country style
She doesn’t feel the same, she likes the quarterback
Little does she know a teacher’s had him in the sack

It’s a typical soap opera story in this preppy coastal town
Where a girl’s expected to go off to an Ivy League college
then graduate, meet a boy there and settle down
Where the young men follow in their father’s footsteps
They’ll buckle up, get good grades, graduate
Sow their oats, make some mistakes but rebound
Then marry, have an affair & divorce in their 40’s or 50’s
& end up with a fatty liver from all that Tanqueray & Royal Crown

They’ll all end up with fatty livers from Tanqueray & Royal Crown
In this scenic, messed-up, rich-rich, coastal preppy town.

March 1, 2018

The Songwriter’s Daughter

She’s got a way of looking at the world
Like no one else I’ve heard of or met
Her eyes are windows to a universe
I don’t think I’ll want to forget

I know we’re just dating right now
And I don’t have much to my name
But I have this feeling in my heart
That I’ll never ever be the same

I think I’m falling for her
Oh, falling for that sweet girl
I think I’m falling hard for her
The town songwriter’s daughter

She’s got a great smile & funny laugh
She takes me places I’ve never been
Like the diner out by those tracks
She’s comfortable in her own skin

She must have gotten it from her Mom
Who has grown slowly fond of me
Wherever we end up goin’ together
Is exactly where I want to be

And I think I’m falling for her
Oh, falling for that sweet girl
I think I’m falling so hard for her
The town songwriter’s daughter

He’s taught her well and she’s happy
She’s an open book and completely free
She’s fascinating and she’s beautiful
She’s so refreshing and low-key

The music in that girl’s humble soul
Comforts me like cool fresh water
Hope she always knows she lights my world
Not just ’cause she’s a songwriter’s daughter

And I know I’m falling for her
I’m falling for that sweet girl
I’m falling so fast & hard for her
The town songwriter’s daughter
The town songwriter’s daughter
The town songwriter’s daughter

February 25, 2018

Lyrics Notes: So the deal with this one is it’s inspired by the old country cliche and the phrase “Farmer’s Daughter.” I know a popular song is the Love Nostalgia Song… So I’ve heard variations like “The Blower’s Daughter” by Damien Rice or even an old one I happen to really love, “The Mortician’s Daughter,” by Freedy Johnston. I always think I wanted to invent a new one so this is about as inventive as I can get – to imagine what it would be like to fall in love as a college student with a songwriter’s daughter. An interesting twist is that instead of living where songwriters are a dime a dozen, they live in a one-songwriter town. Almost like a glimpse into one of my daughter’s future boyfriends, you know? It was a fun exercise, probably one of my better attempts at a character song. I love coming up with characters and coming up with a concept from a perspective that’s much like my own or someone I relate to because I’ve been there. Hope you like it!

Sweet Tea Sunset

Sweet tea sunset
With her by my side
Out on the front porch
Our smiles are wide
The kids are playing
before it gets dark
Sweet tea sunset
and this trailer park

Most of our family
say we’re not rich
They look at our home
and start to twitch
But we love it here
It’s ours alone
It’s so calm here
in this time zone

Sweet tea sunset
and us holding hands
Spotify streaming
our favorite bands
What we worked for
was life undismayed
Sweet tea sunset
like art by Kincade

Happy to be here
Friends are closeby
in this great town
We look to the sky
that’s like a painting
every single night
Sweet tea sunset
An amazing sight

Sweet tea sunset
An amazing sight

February 18, 2018

Porch Swing Date (Part 1)

They were both in Junior High School
She was a few months older than him
She lived in a small town called Aromas
She was Jenny and his name was Tim
Tim was living on a property off Vega Road
Not too far from her parents’ place
They met each other on the school bus
He was captivated by her angelic face

And one day he popped the question
He asked if she’d hang out with him one night
He said it could just be a porch swing date
They could just talk and watch the moonlight
It wasn’t up to her to accept his proposal
Jenny said he’d need to ask her Dad
He told her he was intimidated by him
She snapped back, “Come on, he’s not so bad!”

So Tim mustered up some courage that day
He rode his bike a few miles to Jenny’s house
But when Jenny’s opened the front door
Tim was as timid as a three legged mouse
Jenny’s Dad knew why Tim was there
Jenny already told him a boy was coming by
Tim was confused and pleasantly surprised
When Jenny’s Dad asked him to come inside

And they sat there eye to eye in the front room
Tim was scared as scared could be
He thought to himself “It’s not like I’m asking
For his permission, so she would marry me”
“I just would like to get to know your daughter, sir”
“I’d make sure she got home by her curfew.”
He smiled as he delivered his line to Tim,
Son, I’ve got a good feeling about you

So Tim and Jenny had their porch swing date
Tim felt luckier than he’d ever felt before
They sat and talked over Arnold Palmers
He bought for them at the General Store
It was an innocent time they were having
They didn’t have a care in the world
During their very first porch swing date
She found him funny and she liked that girl

February 11, 2018

And Then I Met You

I knew girls who were so nice
but not many went out with me twice
All I was dreaming of was paradise
And then I met you
There were those who I got to know
and they didn’t go with the flow
So I was searching high and low
And then I met you

You were different
You were funnier
Oh, so much funnier than me
But you loved my humor
You loved my romantic inclinations
and that night we didn’t disagree

All those girls who I met
tossed me like a used cigarette
I was filled with pain and regret
I walked into the Buena Vista all wet
I was down to my last gutsy bet
I was there to meet a different brunette
And then I met you

You were so quirky
You were classier
Oh, so much classier than me
But you loved my cologne
You loved my little observations
You were the one, turns out I’d need

I was there and she was late
In fact, she blew off our date
but I’m a firm believer in fate
I thought she was my soulmate
The one who’d appreciate
my proposal on the Golden Gate
And then I met you
And then I met incredible you.

January 8, 2018

They Might Be Townies

When we’re at Starbucks
Talking about our lives
We’re surrounded by
Husbands and wives

Of people we work with or know
That’s not what concerns me the most
The trouble is, they might be townies
and they’re standing too close

They could be listening to us
And telling their friends & families
What we say in there every day
could get burned into their memories
They could find out all our secrets
Use them against us all over town
They might be townies
who might be writing all of it down

When we’re at Kroger
standing at the checkout line
Don’t tell your stories
Just nod and say you’re fine

They could be collecting info
Not only that, they could be wired
Because they might be townies
and they never will be fired

For recording conversations with non-locals
This could be a Stepford Wives kind of city
Where they want everyone to be the same
You’re out if you’re not athletic or pretty

See,
They could be listening to us
And telling their friends & families
What we say in there every day
could get burned into their memories
They could find out all our secrets
Use them against us all over town
They might be townies
who might be writing all of it down

They might be townies
who might be writing all of it down.

January 3, 2018

With apologies to John Flansburgh and John Linnell of They Might Be Giants. Still, I hope you enjoy it and it would be an honor if you wrote the music.

Camping with Gramps

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We were born in the city
Didn’t know a Rainbow Trout from a Bass
and we grew up going
to different schools and attending mass

But our parents agreed
to let us spend time in LaPorte
We weren’t at a sleepaway
or some high-class fancy resort

We were with my Dad’s Mom & Dad
They lived in an A-frame cabin alone
Far from the crowds and traffic
They had an old radio and rotary phone

But it wasn’t all that we looked forward to
It was all the adventures we loved to do

While camping with Gramps
We got to learn how to fish in the streams
He’d encourage us to dream big dreams
of catchin’ big ones to gut and cook
We were livin’ life not readin’ a book
While camping with Gramps
We got to know him and his worldview
He taught us everything he knew
He showed us nature and paintings
He told us to value people not just things
Gram taught us Cribbage
and I read her books & liked all her stamps
But what I loved most of all was camping with Gramps

And my older brothers
they outgrew going so I went with cousin Dave
Gramps would tell us
to go out by ourselves on walks and be brave

We’d drink straight from the cold creek
on those scorchin’ summer days
We’d chase butterflies
and appreciate the sneaky bears & bluejays

And we played tennis on a court we helped make
But we always ended up goin’ out towards the lake

While camping with Gramps
We got to learn how to fish in the streams
He’d encourage us to dream big dreams
of catchin’ big ones to gut and cook
We were livin’ life not readin’ a book
While camping with Gramps
We got to know him and his worldview
He taught us everything he knew
He showed us nature instead of paintings
He told us to value people not just things
Sure Gram made us dinner
and I read her books & liked all her stamps
But what I loved most of all was camping with Gramps

What I loved most of all was camping with Gramps.

January 2, 2018

You Should Be With Me (Steak ‘n Shake Song)

Boy:
Well, I’m sittin’ here in Steak n Shake
Pickin’ on a four-dollar meal
And I’m not sure if you’ll ever
Feel the way I feel

My pockets are all empty
But my stomach’s full for now
And I’m dreamin’ of you, girl
I gotta figure out how

To make some money
So you will date me
I feel like such a fool
It’s so upsetting
That I’m letting
My depression rule
I know I can make it happen
I know you’ll one day, see
That I was made for you
And you should be with me.
You should be with me

Girl:
I see you there in Steak n’ Shake
And I’m wondering who’s with you
Who gets to hold your hand
Maybe it’s time you knew

That you’re the boy of my dreams
You’re the one who makes me laugh
Every time I see you anywhere
I wanna take your photograph

We could take selfies
We could go skating
We could study after school
It’s so unnerving
I’m here observing
Why do you tolerate her ridicule?
I know I’d be so better than her
She’s treating you like a nobody
Baby I was meant to be with you

And you should be with me
You should be with me

2017