The Emigrant Gap Bandit

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

I was born up in the Sierra mountains
In a cabin near a town called Emigrant Gap
At first I loved livin’ there in them woods
But then later I saw it was more of a trap

I did whatever I could to get a ticket there
At eighteen I jumped on a train leavin’town
I found work with a traveling carnival
From early Spring to Fall we’d move around

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

A girl I fell for was the only daughter
Of the Ringmaster who had hired me
That day I laid my eyes on that sweel gal
She was the cutest I ever had seen

Her eyes were wide as her lips hit mine
She thought it was love at first sight
But I got scared and left her behind
Even though I knew it wasn’t right

Then I ended up in some rustic ol’ saloon
Got stuck where everyone drank and drank
The longer I stayed, the more lonely I was
And into depression, I fell & then sank

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this old jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

I fell into a gang of highly skilled bandits
One day we came across a familiar tent
I realized where we were & looked for her
I always hoped I’d know where she went

Then I found her being raped by a man
I grabbed him off her then saw his eyes
He said “Boy what are you doin’ here?”
I got out my pistol which wasn’t so wise

Then I shot that Ringmaster in cold blood
The gang left me there to face my fate
And by the look in her eyes I quickly saw
My heroic deed came a few weeks late

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
You would see I sure deserve to die
Even though my intentions were true
If you could step right into my shoes
You would then know what next I’ll do

You would then know what next I’ll do.

June 25, 2018

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Ballad of Sugar Booger & Ellie Mae

She called him Sugar Booger
‘n he didn’t mind one bit
He wasn’t rich or very poor
He was heavier ‘n not so fit

They got along like best friends
Grew closer with each passing day
Yeah, she called him Sugar Booger
and her name was Ellie Mae

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks, ‘n
sweeter than German Chocolate Cake
She loved housework and lemonade
Stayed busy while she was awake
Sugar Booger drove a Chevy truck
he bought with cash in 1988
before he met dear sweet Ellie Mae
Before they combined their fate

Sugar Booger collected hats & lighters
and Ellie Mae loved to cook
If Ellie Mae wasn’t in the kitchen
She was likely reading a book

She loved romantic Southern Novels
and he watched Bonanza on TV
Whenever they were together
they were where they loved to be

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks n’
sweeter than Loganberry Pie
A typical country girl she was –
She told the truth & never lied
She was faithful to Sugar Booger
even when he was tempted to stray
There’s never been a love like theirs
Sugar Booger and Ellie Mae

They both came into some money
but they didn’t move far away
They liked their eleven-acre property
It was there they wanted to stay

But someone heard of their windfall
And one hot night in mid-July
Sugar Booger ‘n Ellie Mae were murdered
and they never caught that guy

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks ‘n
Sweeter than Loganberry Pie
A typical country girl she was
She told the truth and never lied
She was faithful to her Sugar Booger
Until they died side by side
When the news spread all over town
They all were scared and horrified

For their sweet Ellie Mae
and her dearest beloved, Sugar Booger
They cried and cried and cried….

June 18, 2018

Lyrics Notes: I just loved this popular nickname Southerners give their husbands and I knew I had to write something that included it. A small tale about a sweet country couple who didn’t deserve their grisly fate.

Relentless Party Chick

There you are, Relentless Party Chick
You drink too much cause your man’s a prick
You’d rather get rowdy and dance on the bar
Relentless Party Chick, there you are

I’m here all the time & see you go to town
Settin’ up cowboys then knockin’ ’em down
’cause he’s workin’ all night, you get out & play
Then he knows you’re in bed sleepin’ all day

And there you are, Relentless Party Chick
Drinkin’ too much whiskey ’til you get sick
You’re a twistin’ tornado, raisin some shit
and you’re so damn pretty, lookin’ healthy & fit

But you’re hurtin’ deep inside
Fillin’ that empty void
And I’ve seen him here with you
Feelin’ sad and annoyed
I saw the red in his eyes
as he noticed the guys
Who hug you & touch you
It’s clear he’s gotten wise

So there you are, Relentless Party Chick
And there he still is, being a total dick
I saw him in here havin’ lunch at noon
with a younger woman he’s seen since June

That’s why you’re hurtin’ deep inside
Fillin’ that empty void
Turns out he’s just actin’
like he is mad and annoyed
I saw the red in his eyes then
but now they’re baby blue
’cause Relentless Party Chick
he’s about to leave you

Yeah, Relentless Party Chick,
he’s about to leave you.

May 2, 2018

Lyrics Notes: Shelly Peiken writes a great blog and has written fantastic songs. In her recent blog post, she talks about the promoting sexuality in songs and I agree it’s gone pretty far. Sex sells. But what about honesty in songs and setting up themes within them that can be the type that people can learn from? In these above lyrics, I explore a theme involving a party girl, her boyfriend, and the girl in-between. It’s a toxic relationship filled with dishonesty between lovers and total disrespect. I think exploration into themes like this will offset the fantasy and get more realistic about what happens in relationships when people would rather avoid the most crucial part of their relationships: The Truth.

Weird Hyper Kid

There he is on the school playground
He’s a messy, artsy, weird hyper kid
Draws cartoons of witches and monsters
Doesn’t care about stuff he did

Like the time he told the teacher off
And got suspended for three days
He was put in the front of the classroom
And he just sits there with an empty gaze

Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)

He already has the knowledge
He’s got the brain power to succeed
To fill him with useless information
Is giving him what he doesn’t need

He’s smarter than all the other students
But they just see what they wanna see
To them, he’s just some weird hyper kid
But he should be a hero to you & me

Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)

Loves comic books and very crazy music
He stays up late to research on the internet
He’s concerned about the environment
He’ll come up with a cure for cancer I’ll bet

Likes Stephen King & Agatha Christie
Watches all those reruns of Quantum Leap
Goes to ComicCon with his doting parents
Collects autographs he’ll cherish & keep

Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)
Weird Hyper Kid (Oh, so hyper)
Weird Hyper Kid (So hyper and weird)

April 9, 2018

The Songs We Wrote That Summer

The first one we wrote, it was when we met
It was a Meet Cute you and I will never forget
It had humor involving food staining your dress
and us laughing hysterically as we cleaned the mess

The second one we wrote on our coffee shop date
We could have cut it short, but we stayed late
I was too shy to kiss you before you opened your door
It just seemed to me like you didn’t want anything more

We waited a bit before we wrote another one
But the third time was with friends and it was fun
The four of us got together, wrote it in a dive bar
where we all had some beers, you got out your guitar

The songs we wrote that Summer
We went all-in on and did our best
They were filled with emotion and were sincere
And I thought you were pleased how we progressed
But as we wrote more, they started sounding the same
The candle we once were then had a burned out flame
Now sometimes I wonder whatever became
of you and all your ambitious dreams
And those songs we wrote that Summer
with with all those lovely and romantic themes

That time we went to the local Beach Boardwalk
Intimate conversations evolved from our small talk
We shared our deepest hopes yet romance didn’t grow
We just couldn’t move forward, we were at a plateau

Yet I’ll never talk badly about them or you, dearest
‘Cause I cherish those nights we passionately kissed
You filled my notebooks and life with our history
but what it will all mean to others is a mystery

The songs we wrote that Summer
we went all-in on and did our best
They were filled with emotion and were sincere
I thought you were happy with how we progressed
But as we wrote more, they started sounding the same
The candle we once were had a burned out flame
And though I wonder why they became what they became
All our ballads and those youthful dreams
Those songs we wrote that Summer
I’ll listen for you singing them in the ocean and streams

Hope I’ll hear you singing them in the oceans and streams.

March 31, 2018

I Just Want My Brother Back

We would go down to the creek and dip our feet in
Those were just little walks but are good memories
I remember he was the one who told me about
them busy hummingbirds and bumblebees

He’d let me go through all his records and tapes
I’d spend hours studying the liner notes and learn
from all the lyrics – those verses, bridges, and hooks
One favorite was by Kansas, “The Point of No Return”

Now I look at those Polaroid snapshots from our youth
like the one where I’m smiling but missing a front tooth
And I know I have to cope with a very brutal truth
I just want my brother back
When he got into that experimental biplane
I didn’t know that I’d never see him again
That energetic man he was before he went insane
I just want my brother back
I just want my brother back

He’s the one who kept it together and made it through school
Learned three languages and multiple intensive college degrees
Meanwhile, I’ve struggled with odd jobs earning minimum wage
Yet he’d probably say for me, life was a breeze

And I review his yearbooks, remember all his good friends
The ones who knew him more intimately and better than me
I talk with my kids who loved their old Uncle so much
I worry that he’s more accomplished then I’ll ever be

Now I look at those Polaroid snapshots from our youth
like the one where I’m smiling but missing a front tooth
And I know I have to cope with a very brutal truth
I just want my brother back
When he got into that experimental biplane
I didn’t know that I’d never see him again
That energetic man he was before he went insane
I just want my brother back
I just want my brother back

I’m not equipped to handle being the responsible one
I was never the son who knew just about everything
All I could ever do is write these crazy little songs
And muster up the courage to remember them and sing

If I could have traded places with him that night
I would have done it faster than a healthy heartbeat
Instead, I’m the one who takes him for ice cream
and that former genius thinks it’s a special treat

And I watch all those home movies with him in the dark
Sometimes I take him to go fishing at Pinto Lake Park
He thinks he might catch a huge Great White shark
I just want my brother back

I just want my brother back.

March 29, 2018