The Emigrant Gap Bandit

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

I was born up in the Sierra mountains
In a cabin near a town called Emigrant Gap
At first I loved livin’ there in them woods
But then later I saw it was more of a trap

I did whatever I could to get a ticket there
At eighteen I jumped on a train leavin’town
I found work with a traveling carnival
From early Spring to Fall we’d move around

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

A girl I fell for was the only daughter
Of the Ringmaster who had hired me
That day I laid my eyes on that sweel gal
She was the cutest I ever had seen

Her eyes were wide as her lips hit mine
She thought it was love at first sight
But I got scared and left her behind
Even though I knew it wasn’t right

Then I ended up in some rustic ol’ saloon
Got stuck where everyone drank and drank
The longer I stayed, the more lonely I was
And into depression, I fell & then sank

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this old jailhouse today
If you could see what I’ve been through
If you could live where I was raised
If you could step right into my shoes
You wouldn’t be actin’ so amazed

I fell into a gang of highly skilled bandits
One day we came across a familiar tent
I realized where we were & looked for her
I always hoped I’d know where she went

Then I found her being raped by a man
I grabbed him off her then saw his eyes
He said “Boy what are you doin’ here?”
I got out my pistol which wasn’t so wise

Then I shot that Ringmaster in cold blood
The gang left me there to face my fate
And by the look in her eyes I quickly saw
My heroic deed came a few weeks late

See, If you could step right into my shoes
You would know why I am this way
You would know my complete story
Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today
You would see I sure deserve to die
Even though my intentions were true
If you could step right into my shoes
You would then know what next I’ll do

You would then know what next I’ll do.

June 25, 2018

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Ballad of Sugar Booger & Ellie Mae

She called him Sugar Booger
‘n he didn’t mind one bit
He wasn’t rich or very poor
He was heavier ‘n not so fit

They got along like best friends
Grew closer with each passing day
Yeah, she called him Sugar Booger
and her name was Ellie Mae

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks, ‘n
sweeter than German Chocolate Cake
She loved housework and lemonade
Stayed busy while she was awake
Sugar Booger drove a Chevy truck
he bought with cash in 1988
before he met dear sweet Ellie Mae
Before they combined their fate

Sugar Booger collected hats & lighters
and Ellie Mae loved to cook
If Ellie Mae wasn’t in the kitchen
She was likely reading a book

She loved romantic Southern Novels
and he watched Bonanza on TV
Whenever they were together
they were where they loved to be

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks n’
sweeter than Loganberry Pie
A typical country girl she was –
She told the truth & never lied
She was faithful to Sugar Booger
even when he was tempted to stray
There’s never been a love like theirs
Sugar Booger and Ellie Mae

They both came into some money
but they didn’t move far away
They liked their eleven-acre property
It was there they wanted to stay

But someone heard of their windfall
And one hot night in mid-July
Sugar Booger ‘n Ellie Mae were murdered
and they never caught that guy

Ellie Mae had golden curly locks ‘n
Sweeter than Loganberry Pie
A typical country girl she was
She told the truth and never lied
She was faithful to her Sugar Booger
Until they died side by side
When the news spread all over town
They all were scared and horrified

For their sweet Ellie Mae
and her dearest beloved, Sugar Booger
They cried and cried and cried….

June 18, 2018

Lyrics Notes: I just loved this popular nickname Southerners give their husbands and I knew I had to write something that included it. A small tale about a sweet country couple who didn’t deserve their grisly fate.

Who Am I To Complain?

Took a walk on the path we’d stroll down
The wind in my palm replaced your hand
I closed my eyes and fondly remembered
when we kissed as teens on the sand

And I thought about the memories we made
I reflected on the good times we had then
Tears weaved their way down my face
I was never going to see yours again

But who am I to complain?
Who am I to feel so depressed?
Who am I to think or believe
that I didn’t do my best?
Who am I to think I could stop you
from driving home in that rain?
Who am I to be so selfish?
And who am I to complain?

That stormy evening I said some things
I should have never said to you
I was jealous of your ex-lover
What else was I supposed to do?

What else could I have said, dear
to make you change your mind that night?
I guess I could have held my tongue
So you would’ve stayed without a fight

You wouldn’t have been so determined
to break up with me and head to your dorm
We could have spent the night together
keeping each other happy, safe & warm

But who am I to complain?
Who am I to feel I’m to blame?
Who am I to think I’m responsible?
Why am I feeling so much shame?
Who are they to say it’s all my fault
that you were found brutally slain?
Who am I to expect they’d understand?
Who am I to complain?

Who am I to complain?

February 11, 2018

She Murdered Me

We met through a personal advertisement
In a local entertainment publication
After a few dates she invited me to
Come with her on a two-week vacation

It was all inclusive at a resort in Mexico
And it included an overnight cruise
Little did I know on that boat
It was my life that I would lose

She murdered me
She murdered me
Had no idea it was coming
My death’s no mystery
She shot me with a pistol
As I was sleeping in my bed
She murdered me in cold blood
I’m here to tell you I’m dead

It was hard to adjust to letting go of life
Being a ghost is really fun yet weird
I don’t like when I try reaching out to people
And instead of welcomed, I’m feared

What I’ve noticed is she has said some lies
About what happened that crazy night
I didn’t threaten her or grab for a knife
We didn’t even have a violent fight

She murdered me
She murdered me
Had no idea it was coming
My death’s no mystery
She shot me with a pistol
As I was sleeping in my bed
She murdered me in cold blood
The proof is my lead-filled head

She murdered me
She murdered me
Had no idea it was coming
My death’s no mystery
She shot me with a pistol
As I was sleeping in my bed
She murdered me in cold blood
Don’t believe what she said
Don’t believe what she said
Don’t believe what she said
She wasn’t defending herself
I was asleep in bed

Oh, I was asleep in bed.

2017