Halloween in Haddonfield

Parents go out and leave their kids at home With hot looking babysitters who mess around Their boyfriends arrive when the kids are asleep And they try not to make any big sounds Maybe they decided to watch a scary movie Maybe they’re drinkin’ beer n gettin” high They’re likely dry humpin’ in the family […]

The Emigrant Gap Bandit

See, If you could step right into my shoes You would know why I am this way You would know my complete story Why I’m in this Reno jailhouse today If you could see what I’ve been through If you could live where I was raised If you could step right into my shoes You […]

Ballad of Sugar Booger & Ellie Mae

She called him Sugar Booger‘n he didn’t mind one bitHe wasn’t rich or very poorHe was heavier ‘n not so fit They got along like best friendsGrew closer with each passing dayYeah, she called him Sugar Boogerand her name was Ellie Mae Ellie Mae had golden curly locks, ‘nsweeter than German Chocolate CakeShe loved housework […]

They Might Be Townies

When we’re at Starbucks Talking about our lives We’re surrounded by Husbands and wives Of people we work with or know That’s not what concerns me the most The trouble is, they might be townies and they’re standing too close They could be listening to us And telling their friends & families What we say […]

I Know What You Did In High School

I know what you did in High School I know who you really were You were filled with gallant bravado But you were also very immature You made fun of everyone behind their backs and you fondled almost all of those girls I know what you did in High School You stole my Mom’s freshwater […]