Adult Themes, Caberet, Growing Up, Inspired by a Place, Introspective, Jazz, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Relationships, Unrequited, Wistful, Young Love

Dead Inside

Dead inside
That’s how I turned out
Dead inside
I don’t know what I’m about
I have no idea how I got this way
But here you are asking me today

If I remember a time when I felt well
But I promised I would never ever tell

I cannot unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
I hear them rumble and they tumble
No one ever helped me find the key
It sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
The younger me is chained to it, and
couldn’t figure out how to break free

Dead inside
He’s just a kid and nobody knew
Dead inside
No one can rescue him, not even you
I have no idea if anything you say
Will break the chains, rusted & gray

I know I blocked a time when I felt well
I gave my word I would never ever tell

I cannot unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
I hear them rumble and they tumble
No one ever helped me find the key
It sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
The younger me is chained to it, and
Died trying desperately to break free

He’s dead inside
He’s a part of who I’ve become
Dead inside
It’s OK to me if I’m forever numb
I have idea why I need to sit & talk
I’d rather wander alone on the Boardwalk

It’s where I discovered I wasn’t well
And then remembered I shouldn’t tell

I wanna unpack all those feelings
Locked so deep inside of me
And they rumble and they tumble
I’ve been looking for the silver key
That sunk like an old pirate’s chest
Somewhere in the middle of the sea
Meanwhile the older me is out here
And what’s dead inside
What’s dead inside
Is the dream of what she and I
Will never in our lifetime be

January 15, 2019

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About Family, Adult Themes, Autobiographical, Folk Ballad, Growing Up, Inspired by College, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Rites of Passage, Wistful

Beach in Seabright

I look at our kids
I look at my wife
I think to myself
What a wonderful life

We have a house
A couple of cars
I feel so grateful
as I stare at the stars

And I know time is moving
faster than I’d like
I know it’s been a while since
I’ve been on my bike
I also know all of this
is what I’d dream about
As I’d head out with my friends
night after night
Searching for the one
with sweetness and light
At bars nearby
the beach in Seabright

I didn’t see her comin’
but I fell hard & fast
I was confident & cool
Prayin’ we would last

And I sure as hell got lucky
We’ve now been together for so long
When I think we’re gonna break up
I discover I’m so, so wrong

And I know time is moving
faster than desired
II know it’ll be a while
before we’re retired
I also know all of this
is what I hoped for as a teen
As I’d go out with my friends
on Saturday nights
Looking for more
than sweetness and light
At those bonfires on
the beach in Seabright

I look at our kids
and who I’ve become
I didn’t end up where
Mom & Dad were from

This journey I’m on
with my loving family
is the best damn thing
That’s happened to me

And I know time is moving
faster than I’d like
It’s been a while since
I’ve ridden that bike
I also know all of this is
all I’d ever need or want
Someday I’ll take them all to
that yacht harbor restaurant
Where I’d admire everyone
with sweetness and light
who grew up like me at
that beach in Seabright

Who grew up like me at
that beach in Seabright

December 27, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Country Song, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Optimism, Wistful

If I Only Had a Truck

I’ve got my T-Shirt, it’s whiter than I’ll ever be
I’ve got my worn out boots just customized for me
I’ve got my work-worn jeans from my ten hour days
And my ol’ baseball hat promoting Chevrolets

Chorus 1:
And if I only had a truck
I might have someone holding me tight
like that girl I’ve known since grade school
who wasn’t impressed by my BMX bike
We’d go muddin’ out in the cornfields
and have sweet kisses out by the lake
I’d have it all, the girl and good luck
If I, If I, If I only had a truck

I was raised right, got myself mostly A’s & B’s
At the General Store I’d hear ’em shoot the breeze
Wanted to be like them – all those hardworkin’ men
Not like my beachgoing friends who’d go hang ten

Bridge:
Instead I learned how to work on cars
but I didn’t get to labor on a farm
And I took up pitchin’ in High School
but Senior year I blew out my arm

Chorus 2:
And if I only had a truck
Things would have worked out differently
When someone needed help movin’ stuff
They’d always call & count on me
Now I’m just a mechanic at a Quick Lube
and every day on my lunch break
I try to figure out how I’m gonna get unstuck
Man, it wouldn’t suck,
if I, if I, if I… only had a truck

Instrumental break, then

Chorus 1:
If I only had a truck
I might have someone holding me tight
like that girl I’ve known since grade school
who wasn’t impressed by my BMX bike
We’d go muddin’ out in the cornfields
and have sweet kisses out by the lake
I’d have it all, the girl and good luck
If I, If I, If I only had a truck

If I, If I, If I only had a truck

December 20, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Optimism, Relationships, Romance, Wistful, Women

I Believe Her Now

She told me she loved me before I moved on
And I think I believe her now
She said she didn’t want to live without me
And I think I believe her now
‘Cause she’s in a hospital bed
I keep thinkin’ ’bout what she said
It’s rattlin’ around in my head
And I think I believe her now

I believe
I believe
I believe
I think I believe her now

She told me I’d never find another like her
And I think I believe her now
She said I’d remember the way we were
And I think I believe her now
‘Cause I feel so damn upset
And I’m ponderin’ what she said
I’m filled with a lot of regret
And I think I believe her now

I believe
I believe
I believe
I think I believe her now

I came home last night to my apartment
She was out front waitin’ for me
A couple of guys left her for dead
She asked me to take her to Emergency
She was black ‘n blue all over her body
She could barely see out of her eyes
She said they both sexually assaulted her
And I couldn’t help but empathize

She told me she’s sorry she treated me bad
And I think I believe her now
She said ever since I left she’s been so sad
And I think I believe her now
‘Cause what I felt for her before we fought
Is back in my heart and I love her a lot
She said she really wants another shot
She told me she’ll give me all she’s got
And I think I believe her now
No, I know I believe her now

I believe
I believe
I believe
I know I believe her now
I know I believe her now

December 12, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Country Song, Growing Up, Inspired by College, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Optimism, Relationships, Rites of Passage, Wistful, Young Love

I’m No Longer Nostalgic For You

I used to look back with fond memories
of when you and I dated back then
I’d sit and look through your letters
and photos of us over and over again

But one day somethin’ snapped in me
Thinkin’ of you no longer made me feel blue
So darlin’ as you listen to this song
Know I’m no longer nostalgic for you

I’m no longer thinkin’ of your kisses
Or your pretty little porcelain face
Or the way you would hold on to me
in the stands as we’d watch a NASCAR race
I’m no longer wonderin’ where you are
Now you’ve found another good man
I’m no longer nostalgic for you, babe
I’m just lovin’ her the best I can

You used to tell me time and again, girl
That I’d remember us and what we did;
All those passionate nights at the lake house
That time you got pregnant with our kid

You miscarried – We quickly found ourselves
relieved and we decided we were through
Then we both started seeing other people
We both knew we had to find someone new

Now I’m no longer thinkin’ of your kisses
Or your sweet chocolate doe shaped eyes
Or the way you would look at me
as I’d stare up at the star filled sky
You said I was too much of a dreamer
and I’d never make it big with my band
Well, I’m no longer nostalgic for you babe
cause my daughter is my number one fan

And you can go on peacefully knowing
I’ve gotten over you and moved on
So don’t be nostalgic for me babe
What we had is now dead and gone

No honey, don’t be nostalgic for me
What we had is now dead and gone

November 16, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Inspired by People, Love, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Piano Song, Relationships, Wistful, Women, Young Love

Not So Wise

She’s as hot as biscuits on Sunday mornin’
but she can be colder than a witches tit
And when I put my right hand in her left one
It feels like a worn-in leather baseball mitt

And when I look into those turquoise eyes
There’s a whole world in there to explore
Just when I think I’ve got her figured out
She does somethin’ she’s never done before

Chorus:
Her heart isn’t an open book
I’ve had to turn every single page
She keeps her delicate issues
tucked away in a rusty cage
She threw the key to it into the ocean
that’s inside every tear she cries
And just when I think I really know her
I realize I’m not so wise

She can be as stubborn as a donkey on a trail
or as easygoing as a surfer girl on a beach
And when her soft wet lips are touchin’ mine
Everything I’ll ever need’s in my reach

And when she whispers the sweet words
I’ve been waiting all of my life to hear
What I’ve been quietly feelin’ in my soul
becomes so obvious, so crystal clear

Chorus:
Yet her heart isn’t an open book
I’ve had to turn every single page
She keeps a lot hidden inside
tucked away in a rusty cage
She threw the key to it into the ocean
that’s inside every tear she cries
And just when I think I really know her
I realize I’m not so wise

And just when I think I really know her
I realize I’m not so wise

November 4, 2018

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Adult Themes, Americana, Blues, Inspired by a Place, Introspective, Lyrics, No Music Yet, Nostalgia, Piano Song, Wistful

The Regular

Well, I’m a regular at the Lucca Grill
Where I order the same thing every week
A Ham and Pineapple Calzone & a Coke
And they listen to me even when I’m bleak

I don’t have many friends around anymore
My ex-wife took the kids away from me
So I go there to check in & shoot the breeze
And they always test my long term memory

What was it like in the old days here old man?
They ask me and I always answer honestly
It was not like it is now – it was much better
It’s where I wish I was stuck for eternity
The people were much friendlier and open
It was so much fun, everyone had so much class
We all respected the older Gentlemen and Ladies
And we’d go have breakfast after Sunday Mass

And I see the happiness in their smoky eyes
As they listen to me with interest and intent
Before you know it, I’m there until supper time
And I wonder where all the time went

And I go home to feed my beagle Theodore
I sit down and ponder all the things I said
After my supper from a cardboard box,
I put on my PJ’s, then slowly climb into bed

And I think about those Spring weekends
We’d spend up in Chicago at the nightclubs
We’d dance the Lindy and East Coast Swing
How I deeply miss that ol’ pal of mine Buzz
We’d stay up and talk about random things
Maybe swap a few lies about this and that
Back when ladies wore fancy dresses daily
And I’d be dressed to the nines with a hat

So whenever you see me at the Lucca Grill
Come on over to my table, we’ll have a drink
I’d love to know more about you all
How you’re doing and what you feel & think

Maybe I could be of use to you as I listen
To your stories & what’s going on with you
I’m pretty good at figuring out solutions
And there’s not much else now I can do

What was it like in the old days here old man?
You’ll ask me and I’ll always answer honestly
It was not like it is now – it was much better
It’s where I wish I was stuck for eternity
The people were much friendlier and open
It was so much fun, everyone had so much class
We all respected the older Gentlemen and Ladies
And we’d go have breakfast after Sunday Mass

We all respected each other’s hopes and dreams
And we’d go have breakfast after Sunday Mass

October 30, 2018

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